By Tom Foley
Dear Coach:
My new business requires me to meet people
fact-to-face and sometimes even speak to large groups. But I've
always been a loner and not much of a "people person." Dealing
with people in these situations scares me to death. Help! What can
I do?
Art
Memphis, TN
Dear Art:
Your problem is really not a "problem." Rather, it reflects your
"behavior style." A person's behavior style determines how they go
about doing things. It includes such things as the pace they move
at, how they deal with problems and challenges, and whether they
are people or task oriented. Keep in mind that there is no right
or wrong behavior style. A person can be successful regardless of
their style. The secret is whether they can "adapt" their style to
various situations.
Our natural style reflects our true self--how we are when we're
relaxed and simply being ourselves. We can adapt or alter our
behavior for short periods of time. This allows us to meet the
challenges of many uncomfortable situations. If we have to adapt
our behavior for too long a period, however, we experience stress
and revert back to our natural style.
From your own description, it sounds like you are a task oriented
person. Interacting and talking with people will be stressful for
you. However, there are a couple of options available to you. One
option is to delegate the public speaking to someone in your
organization who is more people-oriented and/or skilled in this
area. This will relieve you of the burden you feel, yet meet the
needs of your business.
If this is not an option, then you only have one choice--to
increase your level of comfort speaking to others. This will
require some skill building on your part. One excellent resource
for accomplishing this is the Toastmasters
organization. This group meets for the sole purpose of developing
public speaking skills. And like yourself, many of the people who
participate are initially scared to death to stand up before
others and talk. The organization teaches you the skills to
overcome your fear and become the speaker you'd like to be. You
begin with short, simple speeches (2-3 minutes in length). These
are usually on topics you're familiar and comfortable with. With
practice, constructive feedback, and the support of the group, you
gain a sense of confidence you never had before. In other words,
you learn by doing. Dues are extremely reasonable, and most people
find the experience to be extremely valuable. I know from my own
experience that Toastmasters is a powerful experience.
A side benefit of Toastmasters is networking possibilities. Since
many business people participate, it give you an opportunity to
talk about what you have to offer. It's a great way to get your
name out to the business community in your area and make important
contacts. So why not "kill two birds with one stone?"
Most cities have at least one Toastmaster group, often meeting at
different time of day for convenience. If you have difficulty
finding a group in your area, you can contact their headquarters
at:
- Toastmasters International
P.O. Box 9052
Mission Viejo, California 92690
(949) 858-8255
Good luck to you!
Tom
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